There is a truth in the sand,
in the dunes,
and the rising sun.
The blistering sting of billions of particles of star dust,
caught on the wind in ominous billows.
Oases are few and rare,
tempting one to stay and rest for a while.
But I must journey on past these little human,
indulgences.
There is something calling me,
ridding my life of things I once held dear.
The void, Kali, the dark night that can be felt.
In me, through me, all around me.
For almost the path two decades, my spiritual walk has afforded me many insights into the Divine and my relationship with it. Concepts I once believed so concretely, I would later deem as merely childsplay. And concepts and ideas I would never have considered as truth, I would discover were closer to truth than what I previously believed. However, in all of this, I have, in varying degrees, wrestled with my fundamental dualistic conditioning.
I often dream in my sleep and I believe in the language of the midnight hours when the soul returns and taps briefly into the sum of all things, where the past, the now, and the future reside effortlessly and seamlessly, like one pool of water flowing into another, into another, into another - feeding each other through the expanse of space and time.
Sometimes my dreams are collaborations of my physical state, something I saw recently, or some issue that my subconscious is trying to solve. Other times I am visiting another with an important piece of sage advise. And yet, at other times it is I who is receiving a personal message from the Divine. This post is to share with you, what I believe, is one of the latter occurrences.
We are nearing the end of the 2016 American Presidential election cycle and boy-oh-boy, what a year it has been, complete with willful verbal missteps, political wrangling and accusations of fraud and disenfranchisement, enough sound bites to deafen every child of a small country, the closest a woman has every gotten to being Commander-in-Chief, Russian hacker espionage, shortsighted political movements based on race and age, circus acts regarding minorities that have embarrassed the most sensible of all of us, and, and, and, and, and.
What can also be said about this election year is that it has been like none other in the course of American history.
It has taken me several days to figure out what I needed emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually around Orlando. Spirit has been urging me (as a form of process) to put voice to what I am feeling. This post is not meant to be the be-all-end-all of opinions or perspectives about Orlando or any other topic herein addressed.
There comes a time, every so often, when wrestling with what I truly believe, don't believe, and want to believe comes to a head. As my word this year is "Faith," 2016 is one of those times. Over the past 23 years, I have discovered one simple truth - for every well thought-out, researched, and staunchly believed religious tenet, there is an opposing side that is just as well thought-out, researched, and staunchly believed. It is true what they say, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one!"
At present, I feel the need to just write. Write what's coherent. Write what's incoherent. Pen down my anger and frustration. And write whatever else is on my heart and mind. As Shrek once said, "There's more room out than in."
This post is part struggle, part rant, part getting it out - making room, part brain-dump, and just part "UGH"!
I am purposefully making no attempt at trying to be spiritually enlightened in this post, just spiritual and honestly frustrated. I guess, one could say, it's the wrestling that leads to the light.
I can't hear myself think! No, no, more accurately, my mind and senses are being inundated and I'm processing so much that I can't hear much else.
This year has seemingly been nothing less than a growing crescendo of cacophonous noise! I watch and listen as our communities, our country, and our world tirelessly careens from one scandal to another injustice to another protest, riot, act of terror, social political circus act, and ultimately war, and death.
It has been 8 months since I last updated my personal blog. And there have been several reasons for this: I have been so busy promoting my business - Spiritual Eros, most of my writing has been as educator and promoter of Spiritual Eros, yet the biggest reason I haven't written is fear.
The truth is hard to tell sometimes. It's exposing. It's vulnerable. And It might create an atmosphere that might be rife with judgment, cynicism, and ridicule. But I have always believed that the truth sets us free. It moves us onward and out of the darkness, out of the shadows, out into the light. It freshens the air and, for a while, gives us a new perspective on life.
At long last we have come, once again, to the end.
Year ends are always such introspective times for me; remembering all the things I've been through and all the laughter and great memories I've had as well as all the tears and heartbreaks I've experienced. This has been, hands down, one of the most rewarding, challenging, and heart-wrenching years since 2007 when I broke up with my last ex, Jared.
I'm crossing the bridge but I wanted to stop and reflect on the happenings of 2014!
Here are a few of the most impactful happenings of my year!
